The New and Improved Marriage

The New and Improved Marriage?
By Ms. Kris - The Integration of T & A

Good morning. Today we will revisit an interview Will Smith gave to UK tabloid Now magazine back in early July 2008 where he discusses his open marriage to wife Jada Pinkett-Smith. According to the tabloid, Will Smith had this to say regarding being upfront and honest about his get down rather than creeping and lying about it:

“Will Smith reckons it’s healthy to fancy other people when you’re married and has no qualms telling his wife when he does.

The actor – who tied the knot with Jada Pinkett Smith 11 years ago – is determined to be honest about how he feels.

‘Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural and you’re going to be attracted to people,’ Will explains.

‘So sometimes we have the discussion: “Wow, this or that girl is freaking gorgeous”. I’m not going to say anything to my buddies that’s any different than what I say to my wife.’

And Will, 39, reckons he’ll tell Jada - and she’ll tell him - if they ever find they can’t resist their desire.

‘If it came down to it, then one would say to the other: “Look, I need to have sex with somebody. Now I’m not going to do it if you don’t approve of it,”’ he says.

‘In our marriage vows, we didn’t say “forsaking all others”. We said, “You will never hear I did something afterwards”. Because if that happens, the relationship is destroyed.’

But Will’s not sure what he’d do if one day Jada, 38, confides that she does want to take a lover.

‘I don’t know how I’d feel,’ he confesses. ‘But I know I would react better than if I found out about it afterwards.’”

I respect the fact that he and his wife sat down prior to marrying, it seems, and had a serious discussion about what they would need in order to be married forever. I actually like that. No, not the specific terms of their marriage, but the fact that two people looked at the state of marriage and divorce in this country and injected some much needed realness and honesty into the equation. Marriage is a beautiful concept, but expecting every person on the planet to comply with the exact same rules is just unrealistic. I think more people should stop kidding themselves by trying to have this fairytale situation they know is not really them, and be real about their life. I’m not suggesting that marriage should now involve being intimate with other people specifically, just that people need to be real with themselves and their mate and have the balls to say, “Hey, you know what, this is how I get down” and feel accepted. If you are marrying someone who does not know the real you, you are not making sense. Think about it, you pay all this money for a wedding, get in there and swear up and down the church walls in front of God and everybody and his brother that you are going to do something forever that you know damn well you will not. Hell, what exactly are “irreconcilable differences” anyway?

While every relationship is unique, I’m wondering what it will take to make the whole concept of marriage more doable and lasting. I mean, is this the New and Improved Marriage? I wonder if it will ultimately come down to this given the fact that many marriages fail due to infidelity, or more specifically, creeping and lying. I need to hear from my people on this one. Would marriage work better if couples defined their own terms and perhaps excluded the whole “forsaking all others” clause? Thoughts?

Link to the article:

http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/celebrity-news/265795/will-smith-i-ll-tell-my-wife-if-i-need-to-have-sex-with-someone-else/1/

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