Who is Really the Hoe?

Who is Really the Hoe?

Good morning.  I got a text from Fresh first thing this morning asking me if I wanted to jump on the whole “Is the hoe the new housewife?” movement from yesterday.  I actually enjoyed Fresh’s article and was happy to see it included different views such as some men being hoes as well as if you want a woman/man with zero experience, marry a virgin.  Personally, I do not know any virgins.  Most adults I know have had a few relationships, and many have children.  Realistically, if your definition of a hoe is anyone who has slept with more than a handful of people, then you need to include both sexes as well as yourself in that group.  It’s easy to stand around and judge someone else and dismiss them as a hoe, but I encourage anyone who is quick to do that to look in the mirror and ask themselves this question:  “Who in the Fuck Am I?”

My understanding of the word “ho” is that it comes from the word “whore” which is the derogatory word applied to a woman that exchanges sex for money.  The UrbanDictionary.com (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ho) defines the word “ho” as follows:

1.  Ho - Prostitute, Whore, Hooker, Tramp, Slut.

2.  Ho - A whore. A woman who uses her body, or gives the impression that her mark can be intimate with her, for material gain or to boost her own ego.  She says she will only have sex with short, fat or bald men if they compensate her with expensive gifts. She’s a just a typical, run of the mill ‘ho.

The same source defines a “Player” as follows:

1.  Player - A male who is skilled at manipulating (”playing”) others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases “play him for a fool”, or “play him like a violin”. The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s.

2. Player - A guy who is sustaining supposedly exclusive relationships with multiple girls simultaneously.

3.  Player - A guy who:

(1)  doesn’t understand the meaning of relationship

(2)  is in full reproductive mode

(3)  is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts)

(4)  often “dates” several girls at several schools (girls are often unaware of each other); and

(5)  is an asshole!

Now then, if the person that you are trying to wife/husband fits any of the above descriptors, then you my friend have bagged yourself one of the unsavory individuals of that particular gender, and I really need to know what in the hell you were doing when you ran into this individual and thought this was a good idea.  Seriously though, you must understand that this individual does not represent the whole any more than the unflattering urban news footage applies to all blacks.  I would suggest more time be spent on really getting to know the person you are with, and making sure everything is healthy and responsible sexually, and enjoying that person.  A lot of people may have had things going on like school, sports, career and what not that made it a bit tricky to manage a relationship at the same time.  Hopefully that person didn’t take that opportunity to be a ho/player and hurt people, and they just casually dated so they had the freedom to travel and pursue their goals until they were more settled and could actually put in the work needed to have a relationship.  In a nutshell, the difference is how you live your life.

Some might argue that sex is sex.  Well, yes it is, but sex with someone who actually gives a damn about you is way better than sex with someone you don’t know in exchange for money or who you had to manipulate and lie to in order to hit.   Example being are you the guy/girl with a few exes from legitimate relationships/dating situations over the years that is a good person or are you the guy/girl who gets your car keyed at the club and the windows busted out because you ran into someone you played/tricked. Just as there are colorful people in all races, there are also colorful people in both sexes too.  As the saying goes, don’t * throw the baby out with the bath water.

* “To discard something valuable along with something not desired, usually unintentionally.” - http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Throwing

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