My issues of Love | Im sure the women will agree…

One of the reasons i started to blog was to be as honest as i can, not so honest that i have no thoughts of my own, but to be honest to where it may help someone else. even if it does make me look like a fool… lol anyways… But lately, dealing with more of those love issues, i’ve come to realize some things about myself. As much of a good guy as i might be, i too bring baggage to the relationship. Not saying that i never knew that, but i never counted it as a SIGNIFICANT amount of baggage. Come to realize im toting not only carry-on bags, but i got some coffins being over nighted, fed-ex’ed, certified mailed, and UPS’d direct to my relationships.

Bare with me as i try and list my main points of baggage:

1. Over-sensitivity:

It comes from over-thinking too many issues that might not even be issues. Taking one thing and thinking about all the various possibilities, all possible angles, and scaring myself into believing the worst will happen. My fault, not hers. My insecurity, my fear of trust, my pesimism. Complaining about issues that probably dont exist can only push someone away, someone who very well may really love you.

Biblically speaking: Love: “Hopeth all things” (hope and insecurity/fear of trust work against each other, therefore love struggles in situations where hope is not present).

2. Trouble letting go of the past:

How very true it is, that i have my issues with the past. I know i am not alone. But in the instance of DEALING, with the past, you have to come to grips with whatever happened, deal with it and MOVE ON. I, apparently, have trouble with that, as i may have seemingly delt with it, but have really only barried it for the time being, only to bring it up again, and with bringing up past issues, you bring up past emotions, only reliving the issues at hand. How can you drive forward only looking in the rear view mirror? You cant…. you have to learn to deal and move, if you dont, its like driving with the emergency brakes on, or riding on 4 flats. You wont get very far.

Biblically speaking: Love: “taketh not account of evil; rejoiceth not in unrighteuousness, but rejoiceth with truth” (does not take into account a wrong suffered)

3. Saying the right thing, the wrong way, at the wrong time.

The Pastor today spoken on some biblical issues and how they related to our friendships and relationships. If you are speaking with good intentions, you should and can speak, but there is a way to do it and a time to do it. Im a slave to my emotions, i have yet to reach that level of maturity where i understand that difference of how you feel and whats real (sounds like something out of the movie ATL, but its true). How we feel isnt always what is correct and right. When im mad, i usually let it be known right then and there. I may not make it obvious but talking about private issues in public certainly isnt coshure. To get the best results, the best feedback, wait till you for one have calmed down and can speak without the emotions clouding your best judgement, and two when it is the best time for both parties to speak about the issues.

Taking about those issues when someone is busy or already stressed/tired can only lead to a skewed response. The Pastor used himself as an example. How church folks will come to him with matters of importance right AFTER church, after he has lead two services. He said at which point he doesnt have the energy to deal with those matters at that very moment and cannot lend the attention needed. He said those that have matters that can wait need to be brought to him on Tuesday, after he rests on Monday from Sunday’s duties. which leads me into my next issue:

4. Patience

Sometimes you CANT talk about things when you WANT to, and the urgency that your emotions may put upon you may cause severe distress but you have to learn to put those emotions in their place and learn patience. When we love, we want the other party to love just as much as we love, WHEN we love. It doesnt always, and probably not ever works that way. Someone will always love the other more, and it may fluctuate and alternate. But as long as that love is strong enough to sustain quality within a relationship, let it. LOL and dont complain about it.

Biblicaly speaking, love is patient.

Just some things i’ve had to deal with lately. Some self realizations that have to be noted or else i risk spending my life lonely. More so, we all need to look in the mirror first, and straight out our own issues before seeking out another’s shortcomings.

Pz.
Fresh

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Why HE Voted for Obama

Im still iffy about the trustworthiness of politics in general, but if we have a chance Obama is that chance. So for the time being i agree with Mark Bruno, author of this post, check with me later and see if im still in agreement. From Left of Center:

Why I voted for Barack Obama

On the eve of Election Day — which just happens to be one of the most important in U.S. history — I thought I’d present my reasons for why I voted for Barack Obama.

In a 2005 post on the liberal weblog Daily Kos, Barack Obama argued that Democrats must not only try to defeat the Republicans, they must work to build trust in government: “The bottom line is that our job is harder than the conservatives’ job…whenever we exaggerate or demonize, or oversimplify or overstate our case, we lose. Whenever we dumb down the political debate, we lose. A polarized electorate that is turned off of politics, and easily dismisses both parties because of the nasty, dishonest tone of the debate, works perfectly well for those who seek to chip away at the very idea of government because, in the end, a cynical electorate is a selfish electorate.”

Obama’s campaign for President is built on the premise that the Democrats must “disagree without being disagreeable” and unite America to solve issues of historic importance. He focuses on his ability to overcome partisan bickering, to work across the aisle, and to produce real results. The idea that someone would be able to unite America and get the government to productively work on important issues sounds idealistic. Understanding that cynicism, Obama stresses that Americans must embrace the “audacity of hope.” Hope is an irrational belief, a faith in optimism, but hope is also a unifying emotion, one that resonates with people across the globe. By emphasizing that we should all believe in the possibility of a new type of politics, Obama has converted many people, including Republicans, to believe in the possibility of the anti-Bush, a non-ideological leader that respects those who disagree with him and works to find not the Democratic solution, not the Republican solution, but the best solution. Campaigning to replace Bush with a unifying leader, he has struck a chord across the country — as shown by polls, book sales, enormous crowds, and website groups. In this crucial juncture in history, he has the potential to improve how Americans perceive politics, leading to more trust in government and solving some very difficult problems.

If he is elected, Obama will do a better job of not only passing the necessary legislation by incorporating other peoples points of view, but also letting the American people know that he is acting in their interest. An American president who is elected by saying, “we’re all in this together and we all have a stake in each other” will do a better job of assuaging the American people’s fears. Even some of Bush’s strongest Republican supporters concede that Bush isn’t the best salesman. When Obama gives a speech, he can really connect with the audience. Obama understands the issues, where we agree and disagree, and he has the intelligent policies, along with the charisma and political talent, to persuade the American people.

For those in the GOP who still make it a point to argue that Obama is not ready for the Presidency, well, Obama has already answered the question himself:

STEVE KROFT: What qualifies you to be President of the United States?

BARACK OBAMA: Something that I think I bring to bear to this process is the capacity to bring diverse people together around a common goal. And I think more than anything, that’s what America needs right now: the ability for us to unite around a common-sense, practical, non-ideological effort to solve some very big problems that we face. 60 Minutes Interview

Please also check out what makes Obama capable of uniting our country: Obama’s Experience. Or look at the Goodbye Speeches from Obama’s last day on the Illinois State Senate floor. He is praised by both a Democratic and Republican Colleague. And in case you haven’t read it yet, here are some Quotes from the Audacity of Hope.

The bottom line is this, Obama is the only candidate in this race who has the ability to actually get things done, and repair the damage done to this country by eight long years of Republican rule and policy. In Lanny Davis’ 2006 book, “Scandal: How ‘Gotcha’ Politics Is Destroying America,” the Washington Time’s columnist wrote: “Which, if any, leaders will have the courage to lead his or her party to win the presidency in 2008 — and then reach across the aisle to form a grand coalition government drawn from both parties, liberals and conservatives, to take a ‘time out’ from partisanship and solve America’s most pressing problems at home and abroad?”

Clearly, Barack Obama has now proved that he is that candidate. And he can be that kind of president.

-Author Mark Bruno

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Technorati Tags: Obama

Insanity? | The People Give Up Hope

Have you ever heard that adage that says that you’re insane if you keep repeating the same behavior expecting a different result?

Here’s a little story that shows how this can be true. It’s a story about training elephants. Starting at a very young age, a baby elephant is tied with a very large rope. The elephant protests and cries and pulls against the rope but is too small to overcome the strength of a large rope. Soon the elephant gives up and accepts its fate.

The elephant grows and becomes a behemoth much larger and stronger than the rope that held it as an infant but it will never even attempt to test the rope again. It will remain in bondage to a rope that it could snap with one tug of its leg.

This may illustrate the power of what we believe. That old elephant had been taught that there was no way to escape from the rope. How often do we here in this new age world say that everybody’s beliefs are valid and real? We assign an almost magical power to what we believe thinking that we create our own reality simply by believing whatever we want to believe. Yes! Believe whatever you want. It’s a grab bag – just choose your reality. How often do we hear people say, “Oh, no, I don’t believe in what the Bible says as if not believing makes it not real? This scenario can be applied to many issues in life. We may get the benefit of wisdom and experience but insist that it is not true only to end up regretting our decisions.

So how can we say that we might be compared to that old elephant? We may have had stressful negative experiences in life and get stuck in destructive or limiting behaviors based on what I call “stinkin’ thinkin’. In so doing, we have abandoned ourselves to hopelessness and fatalistic thinking.

We repeat the very same kinds of behaviors and thinking looking for success; for things to change and never realize that it is our own perspectives that limit us. In reality, we need to do something different. Believe in the tried and tested. Believe in God. I don’t mean that we should believe in the establishment of religion but in the personal and real inspirations of the Bible.

Just like the elephant that believes that his escape is hopeless having been “tricked” into this belief, we also have been tricked into believing that there is no truth in God. It can be well said that it is a conspiracy to make the real thing look phony because fakes make false claims.

Let’s not be naïve! It’s time to get smart and investigate the best of life in God.

Rev.

Technorati Tags: hope, the people

Beautiful Life | the topic: abortion… | Common - Retrospect for Life

“Hoodrats dont abortion your womb// We need more warriors soon// Sent from the stars, sun, and the moon.”

A lyric from Nas suggesting that the option of abortion not be used, and terms within that lyric would suggest that he is refering to his black people. This brings upon a debate about the option of abortion and the validity of its uses. When should it be an option, under what circumstances, and even more the moral implications that come along with it.

Some argue against abortion at all costs, some say only in rape cases, others argue that unplanned parenting is a valid reason for abortion due to the fact that a couple not ready to (and i say couple losesly, meaning two people, not exactly two people together) parent can lead to troubles and hardships that might negatively affect the child. But i think we all have come from some adversity, and have had to overcome it, i dont believe death is validated by avoidance of struggle.

Even planned parenting isnt easy, there will always be obstacles, its life. Raising a child takes a certain level of maturity. A child cannot teach another child to be an adult, but even that doesnt constitute abortion. Most would not want the birth of a child to HAVE to grow them up, but that is part of the harsh realities of life. When you make the decision to engage in sex you make the choice to take the chance of conceiving a child. “Mama gotta have a life too,” but only after Mama has taken care of her RESPONSIBILITY of raising that child.

When i say, raising, i dont mean just food and clothing, i mean rearing, teaching, guidance. Common, in the song “Retrospect for Life” said:

“… Weekend visits and buying J’s aint goin make me a father”

Some would use abortion as an excuse, a measure of prolonging their child-like-ness while putting off the responsibilities of parenthood. If you’re not ready, fine, im not saying everyone has to have children, but thats a issue of prevention. Something thought of before sex, before conception. If you aren’t yet responsible to become a parent, not yet financially ready, at least be responsible enough during sex to prevent death. Like Common said at the end of “Retrospect for Life” “3 hundred and 15 dollars aint worth yo’ soul. 3 hundred and 15 dollars aint worth it…”

Im not pro abortion, nor am i anti abortion. I am however an advocate of life, and my moral beliefs say that all murder is wrong, but, I believe abortion is a decision that should be left to the individual. In some instances it might be valid, but i leave that decision to those who have that decision to be made. I’ve walked into planned parenting once, wasnt my choice but of course it wasnt my body either. She felt she wasnt ready, but i promise you that is something she now regrets. She wasnt of age to make that decision responsibly, so then i guess its safe to say she wasnt ready to be engaging in sex….

I leave on this note, what if Mommy would have aborted you?

Common - Retrospect for Life | DOWNLOAD

Technorati Tags: abortion, life

The Time to act | Dr. H. L. McNeely DCH

Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability to take action. You don’t need to be hasty if it isn’t required, but you don’t want to lose much time either. Here’s the time to act: when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.

Let’s say you would like to build your library. If that is a strong desire for you, what you’ve got to do is get the first book. Then get the second book. Take action as soon as possible, before the feeling passes and before the idea dims. If you don’t, here’s what happens -

- You Fall Prey To The Law Of Diminishing Intent -

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don’t translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can’t be found.

So take action. Set up a discipline when the emotions are high and the idea is strong, clear, and powerful. If somebody talks about good health and you’re motivated by it, you need to get a book on nutrition. Get the book before the idea passes, before the emotion gets cold. Begin the process. Fall on the floor and do some push-ups. You’ve got to take action; otherwise the wisdom is wasted. The emotion soon passes unless you apply it to a disciplined activity. Discipline enables you to capture the emotion and the wisdom and translate them into action. The key is to increase your motivation by quickly setting up the disciplines. By doing so, you’ve started a whole new life process.

Here is the greatest value of discipline: self-worth, also known as self-esteem. Many people who are teaching self-esteem these days don’t connect it to discipline. But once we sense the least lack of discipline within ourselves, it starts to erode our psyche. One of the greatest temptations is to just ease up a little bit. Instead of doing your best, you allow yourself to do just a little less than your best.

There is a problem with even a little bit of neglect. Neglect starts as an infection. If you don’t take care of it, it becomes a disease. And one neglect leads to another.
Once this has happened, how can you regain your self-respect? All you have to do is act now! Start with the smallest discipline that corresponds to your own philosophy. Make the commitment:
“I will discipline myself to achieve my goals”.

To Your Success,

Reposted with consent from: Dr. H. L. McNeely DCH

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